Perspective

3 Things To Help You Keep the Right Perspective

keep the right perspective

Have you ever noticed that “wake up calls” usually come from something a bit daunting? Sometimes it’s the unfortunate things that happen, that kick us in our ass and then we have to take a step back to gain the right perspective.

The fact is, “wake up calls” don’t always have to be a ‘Hey, here’s a pattern interrupt, kick in the butt experience.”

In truth, wake up calls can also come from really good experiences. I call them, “the right perspectives”. And I think this happens more often than people lend credit to.

Before my recent trip to London for our DEA event, I felt rushed, overwhelmed and stressed. Tons of work to accomplish here in New York and New Jersey, but that now had to wait.

Note to self and others: Sometimes the best thing you can do is to go do something else and then come back to your work, but more on that in a bit.

What was so remarkable is that when I got to London, I was reminded that this event is supported and attended by some of the most amazing people I’ve surrounded myself with, and I instantly became invigorated.

keep the right perspective

A thought came over me!! Stress is a state of our environment.

I returned home to a mind filled with gratitude and creativity. I was ready to tackle anything and everything.

See, about 6 months ago I promised myself that ease and flow would be added to my personal values. That I was going to move those very high up on my list as a priority and guiding principals to act as almost a wingman to my number one value, which is happiness.

I realized that when I’m in flow and flowing, there’s no nit-picky drama. There’s none of that draining stuff. And suddenly things begin to shift.

Everything, and I do mean everything, is all about having the right perspective to operate from, and here are 3 ways you can accomplish this:

#1: Have a Heart of Gratitude

When you have a heart of gratitude, depression, and upset cannot exist in that space. They are two opposite ends of that spectrum.

Build gratitude into a way of being; into a daily method of operation.

I am at my best when I am in a place of gratitude. Absolutely, without a doubt, 1000%, at my best. I’m better at everything I touch.

My relationships are better, my work is better, my frame of mind is better, my bank account is better, everything is better when you’re in that space of gratitude.

It’s almost as if you can’t afford to not be in that space of gratitude.

#2: Look For Triggers

That is, look at times you find yourself the most overwhelmed so you can take a step back and observe it for a minute.

For example, when I first came home after very long flights back from London, I was stressed from the process of getting home. Instead of just being grateful (refer to #1), I was stressed at all the little things and for no reason.

Then I took a step back, took a shower and then asked myself, “What the hell was I mad about?”

I had to look at the triggers. I find when I’m tired or overworked, that’s when I’m most susceptible to those overwhelmed feelings.

And sometimes, no matter what sort of self-control you have or discipline you have, your emotions and feelings can still take over you.

And when I woke up that morning and referred back to being grateful, I realized how little the things we worry about are.

Here’s what I recommend:

Look for triggers (i.e. lack of sleep, hunger, lack of exercise, etc.)

As soon as you notice them, write them down in a journal along with all the feelings that come with those triggers.

Now write out how you would like to feel? What are some of the things you’d rather experience?

Find activities or states of environments that will help counteract those triggers. Naps, walks, the gym, phone calls to friends, coffee breaks, reading a good book, etc. Get yourself back to your core.

Finish off with a state of gratitude – say out loud what you’re grateful for. It will solidify it more into the universe.

Find your triggers and re-align.

#3: Write a Vision Statement For Yourself

Why? Simply put, it’s a blueprint for you. It ties you to your behavior, character and actions so no matter how overwhelmed you become, you always remember the path you’re on.

Now, the blueprint can change. The vision statement can change. That happens from evolving.

Don’t worry if it does because great things always need to develop. Make those changes as you see fit.

When I look back at the vision I wrote 5 years ago, I can’t believe how far we’ve come, but we still have a ways to go.

Here’s my vision statement from 5 years ago so you, the reader, can see where my head was:

Jay’s Vision Statement

The vast majority of people in this world that live their lives live inside the box. They follow the path that they think they’re supposed to follow and live the life that they think they’re supposed to live.

They get the education that they think they need to get the job that they’re supposed to want. Their relationships, families, neighborhoods and social lives are determined by forces outside of their control.

Now I envision a world where the vast majority of people are free from the confines of this box. They can do what they choose, whenever they choose, and with the people they choose.

They are able to sustain themselves financially through work that’s fulfilling and rewarding to them. They answer to no one other than themselves, their families and their communities.

Millions of people from around the world will discover an alternative to the status quo. They will come to understand their purpose, choose their own path and create their own success.

They will be confident and in love with their lives. Through balance with relationships, time and money, they will experience more successful relationships and happier families.

I envision a world in which every person chooses to wake up, begins to realize what they truly want, and lives and breathes the life of their dreams.

Five years ago, I was in a place where I really began to reinvent myself. I was transitioning away from a life that served just me, and into one that was of much greater purpose to others.

If that doesn’t give you some new found perspective, then I don’t know what will.

Final Thoughts:

You have to put everything into perspective. How do you make sure you’re operating at your best? How do I make sure I’m operating at my best?

See, it’s not just for my own piece of mind or quality of life, but for those around me; for those that are impacted by me.

We all have a part to play and our ability to manage ourselves has a great impact on surrounding environments and people.

Take these 3 strategies and apply them to your life. While you’re at it, feel free to share with me here in the comment boxes below. I’d love to learn how they’ve impacted you for the better.



  • Matthew DaCosta

    Thanks Jay for this great advice. I couldn’t agree more that having an attitude of gratitude makes a huge difference in our well being. I had one of those moments of gaining “the right perspective” this morning actually, and instead of looking at a certain situation in the negative light of “I’ll never be able to do this/what’s wrong with me”, I really did see it as a “wake up to a positive change” moment instead, and that made all the difference in the world. I could have easily allowed my mind to spiral down the rabbit hole of negativity, but you are right, it’s all about perspective.. By changing my attitude and looking at my positive attributes and strengths instead of focusing on my “perceived” weaknesses, I was able to avoid sinking into that rabbit hole and instead decided to make my way up the stairway to heaven. Thanks again Jay!

  • Marcelo Gonzalez

    I can definitely attest that your vision, together Stuart Ross vision do impact in many positive ways to a lot of people.
    I have been around one year and four months with SFM and DEA and I feel privileged to surround me with entrepreneurs like yourself and the community here.
    The majority of the people in this planet is looking for leadership and inspiration.
    The beacon that you illuminate is showing every day to a huge crowd that it is possible to have it all.
    Health, relations and wealth. Your intentions are honourable, honest and much appreciated by entrepreneurs following your path.

    I promise to help you to share this knowledge to the masses that are still sleeping and longing to improve their lives and don’t know how.
    To them, a message from my heart: Never ever quit dreaming and trying to be the best that you can be. You are not alone.
    Super thanks
    Marcelo

  • Dina Ihlasi

    I just joined SFM few days ago and every time I move forward with the module or read something like this I feel more positive and safe about taking this step with SFM. I highly believe that being self-aware is one of the important keys. Being honest with yourself and knowing the state you’re at NOW and where you want to be, believe you can get there and that inside of you you have all the answers. The trick is to ask yourself the right questions because questions are the answers to many things. When you have a clear vision of where you want to be no obstacle is going to shake that belief. Yes there will be ups and downs but that’s all part of the journey as for the size of your success if measured by how you handle disappointment along the way. Be grateful everyday and believe in yourself.

  • Thanks Dina!! Sorry it’s taken me a bit to get back to this. It’s very true! You have to be clear on what you want, surround yourself with great people to support it and be honest with yourself!! Thanks for sharing!!

  • Thanks Marcelo!! It’s been great to have you!!

  • Thanks for sharing Matthew!! You’re doing great!!